I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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