when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
