We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
