"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
