Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
