you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
