Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize