im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
