Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm both gender and math confused
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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