just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
