He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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