we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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