Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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