What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize