I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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