Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
