found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Randomize
