I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
