I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize