Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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