It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My feet surprised me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
