i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Semen is not good for contacts.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
