i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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