Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
