Say something about gay babies.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
