she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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