After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
