No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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