You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
