I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So vagazzling was a success
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