you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
