Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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