I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
