Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Randomize
