So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
