If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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