1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
