I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
