Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
They are going to name an STD after you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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