We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
where are my pants?
in the oven.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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