The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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