Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests

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(718): View more from New York

I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece

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(208): View more from Idaho

Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?

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