just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She's like a pop up book from hell.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
