My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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