The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
