i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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