Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
