In the future we'll all be gay
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
