You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
