We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
