I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
