real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
