It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
