Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
