I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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