You're completely useless in the revolution.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
