Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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