dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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