he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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