its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
