i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
