Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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