cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
