I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
