we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
