Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
